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Some of my friends pegged my situation to an intimidation factor.I’m a lawyer working toward a Ph D in management, and I am a serious athlete, competing internationally for Canada in Ultimate Frisbee.
(Filters are common—especially for women, who often receive a high number of lewd or casual messages from spam profiles, and generic messages from men who send the same note to a swath of profiles.) Of the 708 messages I received over the next fourteen months, 530 ended up in the filtered inbox, which left me with about one message of decent-or-above quality a day.
I’m also a musician (some of my work is available on i Tunes); a dancer; and a volunteer with various sports organizations.
At first glance, my resumé and accomplishments may loom large, but I had thought that my well-roundedness would be an asset, or at least of interest, to the sort of man I was seeking. I posted a link to my profile on Bunz Dating Zone, a Toronto Facebook group, asking for honest feedback.
Even when you decide to answer, many users will not respond, having lost interest or been tempted by one of the site’s many other profiles.
Some people disappear after a few exchanges—sometimes even after you’ve made plans to meet.Theoretically, the online world offers greater odds of finding a partner than does a chance meeting at a party.Being online is like going to a party without encountering all the people who trap you in boring conversations.Over the following months, I would play with this slightly: I variously described myself as a dreamer, book lover, learner, educator, and writer, someone who views the world with a glass half-full of optimism and a dash of sarcasm.