Dating a sex addict relationship advice hot sex dating
But while movies and music nearly always have a happy ending, Riley’s reality was much different: “I was spending much too much time balled up on the floor in the fetal position, clutching my belly, just wanting to die because some guy hadn’t called me back.”At age 42, after getting clean from a cocaine addiction, Riley eventually realized the anguish she felt over parting ways with a man was lasting “longer than the so-called relationship,” she says.“I would date someone for six weeks and I would suffer over it for six months.There’s also the need to stop sexualizing any kind of nurturing and instead give platonic friendships or professional relationships with the opposite sex room to breathe.Sexualizing every relationship “frequently happens if you don’t have good boundaries and you learn that sex is love,” Hudson explains.“[With sex addiction] it’s not really about the person,” Hudson says.“People become objects to be used and not people to be related to.”Our society mostly focuses on guys with sex addiction because, well, from the outside their spiraling-out looks pretty juicy.The trouble was, De Guzman chose men who couldn’t or wouldn’t commit to her.
Sex and relationship addicts can be so accustomed to accepting “crumbs,” as de Guzman put it, that they may not know how to leave a relationship that doesn’t feel good.Men with sex addiction are more inclined to “just want to have sex and then move on” as opposed to becoming entwined in the emotional aspects of the relationship, Hudson explains, but sex addicts of both genders need continuous hits of attention and affection—women just go about it more privately.Despite the name, sex and love addiction is the opposite of sexy—it is a deeply anguished and often isolating affliction.Charlene de Guzman says her sex addiction started as a “hunger for love and attention and validation.” For her, the confusion came from misplaced messages about her self-worth.
“I had this story from a very early age that a woman who was sexually desired, a woman who was sexual, a woman men wanted to have sex with, was of value,” she told .
“From as early as I can remember, I would be what was called boy-crazy by anybody who was watching,” Riley says.